Love is the number one request in Hoodoo. Everyone wants it and everyone needs it, but getting there is a pain. I should state that I'm speaking of romantic love and not love in general. Romantic love, or sexual love, is quite passionate and stirs the senses. Hence why it is fought with so many difficulties. I don't think these difficulties are actually too bad. Diamonds are created in the earth by years of friction, as are pearls. It is not the pain itself that makes everything so tough, but how we respond to it. I use the term "we" because I've been there too.
Romantic love takes us back to the womb. We literally turn into children with our first crushes! It doesn't matter how educated or mature you are, romantic love will take you back to school. Yet this is the beauty and mystery of it. When you are in love, you are a kid again and the world is new. It doesn't matter if this is your tenth time on the merry-go-round, it still feels fresh and new. It is the ultimate carnival ride.
My advice to the lovelorn, who usually come to me after a break-up, is to pray. That's right---pray! Get a white candle rub it with olive oil and just ask for guidance. What is this experience trying to tell you? Are you experiencing the break-up as an adult or an eight year old? Is the break-up about the moment, or is it taking you back to your childhood and all the disappoints from the past? Feel the pain and work through it, because deep down, you will know what to do. Deep down, you've always known what to do. Finally put to bed those disappointments from so long ago. Make this a new day and a new way.
The most growth I've ever had has been through break-ups and disappointments. As I get settled into my fourth decade, I've come to realize how special those heart breaks were, and how they have helped me help others.
In the words of Rumi, "a broken heart is an open heart."
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